Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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