this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
