his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
