a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
