oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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