His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Randomize
