I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize