I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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