the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
