3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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