"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
