no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
