Life is so much better after having sex.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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