My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
This baby is an asshole
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
