I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
