No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
