She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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