I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
