I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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