escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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