Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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