Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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