We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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