Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo

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(913): View more from Kansas

This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.

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(205): View more from Alabama

She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.

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(716): View more from New York

i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.

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(573): View more from Missouri

It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...

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(310): View more from California

Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.

(310): View more from California

It's the best of both worlds

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(804): View more from Virginia

I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment

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(732): View more from New Jersey

My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub

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