I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
