You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
