Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Vodka?
Forever.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
