This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
