....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
it's great music for shaving your balls
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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