If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
literally had 100 drinks last night.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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