I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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