Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize