He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize