We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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