When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
