went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
