Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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