69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
