apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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