he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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