Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
As shirtless as possible
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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