do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The beer is more important than you right now.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
