i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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