im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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