That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
