I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
