I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize