Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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