Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize