i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
So many bounce houses so little time
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
