I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
