Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
