I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
