My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
