Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize