OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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