I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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