All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
