Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
