I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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