I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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