Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize