he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
